so this is why I don’t have cheat meals…… one small chocolate cupcake turned into three days of binging and wanting to barf.
And, let me assure you, I can do a lot of damage when I binge and my binges tend to last for days – complete loss of control.
Chocolate is THE food that has control over me. Then i have to go to pretzles (or similar) because I need something crunchy and salty after all the chocolate.
I just read your blog post “Change starts in your brain” and basically, I could have written that blog, almost word for word.
This lack of control is something I have struggled with for a very, very long time.
Most recently this sabotage comes into play when I start feeling good about myself (eating well and exercising regularly) and I begin seeing positive changes in my body.
I don’t know what happens, but I f*&# it all up by binging — Ariane, any insight here?
Two weeks into Slim & Strong I was down 5 lbs. That is no longer the case.
Confession over - thanks for listening.
See you in the morning for boot camp.
-Anonymous Binge Eater
Dear Guilty Cupcake Eater,
First off: you’re normal. Very normal.
Two things happened: You ate sugar and it triggered the addict in you. A part in our brain responds to sugar the same way it responds to crack. As Whitney said, Crack is Whack. So is sugar and now you know why.
The other issue is probably your attitude about that cupcake. You may have said to yourself after eating it that you screwed up, that you regret eating it, that you undid a lot of progress. You felt bad about it rather than enjoying it as a cheat/treat. Instead it was true punishment due to the bingeing that ensued. Not just physically because you loaded up on more sugar, but also mentally, because you let your all-or-nothing attitude get the best of you and now you feel disappointed, defeated and probably pretty crappy about yourself, wondering how this could have happened.
You may have said to yourself: “Screw it, I blew it. Might as well have some more because I already lost it.”
It’s all about how you handle triggers. You can choose to move on and undo it, or you can choose to dwell on the fact that you lost control. Guilt is the worst feeling as it keeps you in this vicious circle of bingeing and dieting – two extremes that have nothing to do with balance, nor with progress or physical and mental health.
The truth is that you DO have control. You choose to decide with every meal what you eat. And eating more sugar was in your control, but you also got your hormones involved (Leptin, ghrelin and your blood sugar hormones, glucagon and insulin) and they then took control of your brain, hijacked it and made you stuff your face.
Remember the things you worked on in the hypnosis session in class? it’s all about helping you realize that you DO have control over all your choices. When a trigger shows up – in this case you feeling good and having a cupcake in front of you and on your tongue, you still have control. It’s that superwoman part in you that decides you want to be slim and strong and fit and healthy and that eating a cupcake has nothing to do with it at all. The part that made you pick up the cupcake is the part you might call your sabotage part or the uncontrollable part (name it what you want), but this part actually has a positive intention. What was the idea behind eating a cupcake?
Did you want to …
- reward yourself?
- relax a little?
- sabotage your best efforts because deep down inside you feel you’re not deserving of that kick-ass body?
- or…perhaps not quite ready to show off such a kick-ass body, so you’re eating to keep that wall (or body fat up) around you…?
- get away from a negative emotion?
- see how you would do having just one cupcake – a test of self-control?
- satisfy a sweet craving?
- achieve something else?
5 lbs is great and the fact that you’re heavier now has everything to do with you having gained water/bloat, not necessarily all body fat. Remember that every gram of sugar/starches makes you hold on to 3-4grams of water. So, keep it simple this week: loads of veggies, chug tons of water, lean proteins and no starches or sugars for the rest of the week. One binge day will take 2-3 days to undo, so just be nice to yourself and be nice to your body. Stop killing it with sugar!
In the meantime, ask yourself what the purpose was of that uncontrollable part and see if you can satisfy it in ways other than with a cupcake. I have a feeling you know just how because you’ve been doing it for 3 weeks in Slim & Strong!
Happy Blizzard Day!