I know it. You know it. My waist knows it. It’s over. Your so-called sugary goodness, found in all manner of food – bread, cookies, relish, bbq sauce, even milk and fruit – basically anything that tastes good, is really sugary badness.
I don’t like who I am when I’m with you. I’m tired of the mood swings, the crankiness, the sugar spikes, the crazy need for you whenever there is a Starbucks within 10 blocks. I’m tired of your starchy pals white bread, white noodles, and the rest of the crew. I told you they made me uncomfortable – I couldn’t walk up the stairs, I couldn’t button my pants, I even split my suit – but you didn’t care. The bottom line, Sugar, is that it’s time to move on.
And Sugar, just so you don’t hear it from someone else – I’ve met someone. I didn’t mean to. I wasn’t looking for it. I swear. It just sort of happened. At first I thought he’d be dull – he’s green after all. But then I realized that Vegetables can taste sweet too (when you’re not in the way). And, I love his protein-rich friends, Fish, Chicken, and Turkey. They give me so much energy. My pants fit better. I don’t have mood swings. And – get this – my legs; legs that I used to believe couldn’t look sexy – well, these gams actually look better! And Aaron is noticing and best of all, Sugar, Vegetables and all of his protein-rich friends support me in my goal of dropping 15 lbs and getting to 20% body fat – goals you laughed at.
I know I will still think of you from time to time (I’m thinking of you now), but we both know it’s just better this way. I wish you the best in all of your sweet endeavors.